Lackadaisical... The nicer term to use when calling someone lazy, is never something to be proud of when that term is used to describe you--especially by someone close to you, or someone who means a lot to you. It can, in fact, be taken either as an insult, or, if you are receptive to their criticism, it can be a great learning/growing opportunity.
My girlfriend, Bethany, and I had a very serious discussion following a recent event that would definitely try our faith in our relationship. Even though the event will remain private, the conversation that would follow sparked these thoughts... Which I will gladly share with you here.
Yes, one of the terms Bethany used to describe me in that discussion was "lackadaisical." She said, in particular, that I have been lackadaisical in our relationship, in many areas...in showing that I truly care about her, and am willing to be there for her in times of need. I admit, I was defensive and a little taken back and surprised at first, but I would soon realize that this must be something that has really been bothering her, and the negative effect that this must have been causing in our relationship...tearing a riff that would in turn cause her to seriously consider if she wants to continue pursuing a lasting relationship with me.
It's true, I have been lackadaisical in our relationship, but that's not where it stops. This laziness is present in many areas of my life... Including, but not limited to: the cleanliness of my car and my apartment, waking up and falling to sleep, keeping up with close friends and even family members, in church responsibilities, and definitely more. In fact, I can only really think of two areas in which I have not been lackadaisical--work and exercise. This is hardly something to be proud of, when you are losing friends and respect after every turn.
How does one change this? Well, it's not easy to break bad habits, or form new good ones...but one has to decide priorities, and not just make the list. Believe me, I've done that numerous times. I have stated, written down, and declared (on many occasions), these priorities. But it takes courage, determination, and perseverance, to really make the change. Am I willing to change?
The first step in this process is realizing that there's a problem. Well, I'll check that one off the list. The next is identifying every area of life that needs attention. Write them down. Prioritize each one and create a realistic game plan to tackle each area one at a time. Be careful not to take on too much at once, or you'll risk that ever-destructive feeling of being "burnt out." That's where I've failed many times. I try to take on too much. That's the perfectionist in me... And it's very destructive. So much so that I've felt it's influence negatively impact me immensely.
If there is one thing that I feel I've been successful at, it's the act of accepting constructive criticism when given. I am incredibly grateful for Bethany Childress. She means so much to me. I admit that I haven't been the best boyfriend to her. I have failed often. I am, however, committed to being better. I can only hope and pray for patience and forgiveness as I make the necessary changes... Either way, the importance can't be overstated.
